“Coming out” has special meaning. Being brave. Saying, “This is who I am.” Even though people will hate you for it. Even though there is a personal cost.

No I’m not gay, and I don’t want to diminish the experiences of those who have lived those lives. I’m coming out as a philosopher. No, this isn’t a joke.

I was in a relationship with a very young lady. No she wasn’t a child, but there was a significant age gap. She wanted to talk. She wanted to know what I was thinking.

The other day I was at a restaurant with my sister and I zoned out. She asked me what I was thinking. I told her, but the words came slowly, as if I was pulling taffy out of a bowl.

I could never talk to Joy. That was the name of the young lady. I know now that the issue was trust. I didn’t trust her. I was dealing with some devastating personal problems at the time. I didn’t trust anyone.

Joy, I wish I could have talked to you. I wish I could have shared my life and my thoughts with you, with a degree of honesty. I’m sorry I couldn’t.

This blog is dedicated to you.